 Toronto appears set for another mayoral election, and we here at JeffGrable.com have decided that this election, with so much on the table -- transit, taxes, some athletic event coming to town that no one can remember the name of -- is simply too important for us to stay silent on. So, at the risk of jeopardizing countless corporate gigs and alienating potential audiences, we hereby announce our endorsement for the next mayor of Toronto.  The Gillette Fusion Proglide razor. Much of Toronto's problems with our mayors come from the fact that they open their mouths, and anger us in some way. With its pivoting head and multi-bladed close shave, the Gillette Fusion Proglide will not be saying anything to anyone. It's a kind of politician that belongs in the federal Conservative party, but one we have the opportunity to elect here in Toronto as our mayor. Whereas the Schick Quattro speaks only to the fiscally conservative, tax-cutting right and the Gillete Mach 3 (known in the political media as "your daddy's razor") to the more tax-and-spend left, the Gillette Fusion Proglide strikes the delicate balance needed to satisfy the needs of voters across the GTAA. It won't open it's mouth and irritate anyone -- indeed, it's comfort strip will sooth your freshly shaven faces, legs, or both.  We encourage readers to look beyond the needs of electing a walking gasbag with a talking head, and join us in instead endorsing an inanimate object with a replaceable head, as our next mayor of Toronto. We think voters anywhere on the political spectrum can agree, Mayor Gilette Fusion Proglide will do the least damage. Jeff Grable will be appearing at a fun new years party at the Foxes Den Bar & Grill, Toronto. Details on the Gigs page. |
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