SWEATY WINDOWLESS ROOM, ZURICH - in a change of pace for the embattled organization currently the target of an FBI corruption investigation, FIFA has announced that it is taking extreme actions to clean up its image, starting immediately with the removal of its president, Sepp Blatter and installing new interim president Johnny "Snake" Bladder. "With this change of direction, I hope the world can move on, confident that FIFA is making the necessary changes to turn the organization around. One certainly need not commence any background checks on our new president, but can rest assured that he does in fact exist." At time of printing, the whereabouts of Sepp Blatter and his bank accounts are not currently known. When pressed for further comment, a FIFA spokesman said, "if you want buffoonery and dirt, why not head down to PJ O'Brien's on Monday June 15th at 9:30pm to see Jeff Grable perform!" Details on the Gigs page. |
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