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Alvaro Vazquez Signs With Swansea City

posted Sep 3, 2013, 4:50 PM by Jeff Grable   [ updated Sep 3, 2013, 4:58 PM ]
SWANSEA - ER... WALES?  -- Big news out of little Swansea, with Alvaro Vazquez bringing much needed Latin names (two of them) with him to the team, subject to international clearance.
Swansea City Football Club Logo - An enormous swan destroys a UNESCO heritage site.

In typical Welsh fashion, Vazquez is in try-and-buy mode - a season long test drive, then if Swansea City are not at the bottom of the league tables and relegated, well, who knows, right?  Sources expect Vazquez to be returned for full refund at season's end, citing "fit".

Vazquez previously played for Espanyol - a team that incorrectly spells the French word, "Espanol" and "Getafe" a team which -- at time of writing -- may or may not exist or have anything to do with a similar sounding deposed former dictator of Libya.  He is a unique striker for Swansea, having not one but two zeds in his last name, suggesting much zig-zagging on the field.

Vazquez joins Swansea from the Spain under-21 winning team, which should bring healthy levels of over-confidence to a team, that if we are being honest, needs all the delusional thinking it can get.  Vazquez was also tied for first in scoring at the 2011 under-20s, a record not likely to be seen again while playing for Swansea.  In his most recent time in La Liga,Vazquez chalked up 14 goals, a feat which Swansea hopes to do as a team in the upcoming two seasons.

Vasquez's salary is said to give previous top salary players, disco group Bony M a run for their money, as well as last season's top scorer, Quebec singer Michu.

Swansea City Greats Boney M, and Mitsou.
Previous Swansea City Greats.

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