One upside to the cancellation of the NHL season has been a series of unprecedented leaps forward in science, technology, and medicine by Canadians. Even Canadians with no formal training in the fields have been advancing human civilization at breakneck pace now that they have hundreds of more hours of personal time available. A bridge group based in the Summerhill neighbourhood of Toronto recently made what is being described as the most monumental advancement in space travel since the lunar missions. Meanwhile a bartender in Regina, Saskatchewan managed to devise and test a fusion reaction in the time his bar would normally be showing hockey games.
"It's an enormously positive development for Canada" said Prime Minister Stephen Harper, "a real testament to our ability to make lemonade out of lemons."
Noted Canadian scientist David Suzuki suggests the effects could be amplified ten-fold if Canadians stopped drinking beer, but admitted that that was more unlikely than finding the Higgs boson.
I'm onstage Monday, October 22nd, 2012 at P.J. O"Brien's. 9pm. All the details you could ever want-- and less-- on the gigs page. | 